i always strongly believe that expectations lead to disappointments...
one thing which my dad and me still could not figure out is that, he feels whatever he does to me is for my good and bright future!(never mind about my opinion...) be it dress, watch, hair style and so on... but i never thought, it would continue till my bridal hunt...
friends and family have seen her and showed me the photo (i wasn't interested at all...), but my father (alone!) had interest in this alliance...with a lot of hesitation, i was made to meet her, she was jus then completed her engineering and the maximum distance she might have traveled seem to be the corner shop of their street...she was brought up in the comfort zone of their parents...and didn't have the maturity enough to call for marriage...
so the immediate next day morning, i said a big NO! against my fathers opinion. (later my father had to say some reasons to convince his father)
I had my own reservations like,
*) She should be well educated from a reputed inst. and more talented than me....
*) not necessarily to be working (but wat it takes to not work after studying...)
*) be slightly fairer than me, like someone in shades of Nanditha das, Bipasha, Konkana or Halle berry - (romba overa irukka!)
*) match my height (have always been attracted to heights!)
that's it not more than this...I'm sure all the above can't be met and i dont even wish it to be...if happens happy, else accept the life...
I was very clear that, the next time I see a girl, I shld meet her personally and talk to her and get her feed back rather than the parents...
Matching my reservations, i met her @ the temple against all the odds from their relatives... ( as our match making process are very strict, they can roam freely, talk with the other sex, but when it suddenly comes to marriage, you have to meet them only at the others house, with a cup of coffee (now it's jooooooooooose!))
She was accompanied by his brother... we spoke( abt our work, schooling and so on...),it was a nice 20 mins interaction... I knew she too had an interest...
ok everything was getting processed...I had her mobile no and all other personal details, thru one of my friend, but had never contacted her in the process (exception - two mails to her office id)
they made us to wait for longer than two - three months (the irony is, from day 1, my dad wasn't interested in this alliance, he had his own reservations!)
jus for the sake of me, he was discussing with their parents( here too, my father and we had one more blow, it was always her mother, who spoke to us and not their father, not even once in the 10-11 phone calls)
it was only they who approached us, and ignited the process and not us... so we were still quizzed, y it took them so much time, to take a decision.
they questioned abt my comapny, she works in a MNC and expected me to do so... I was
clear, that i had no issues with my company and if needed i can do so in the futute..
his brother grilled abt my integrity, in watever ways it was possible, even some of school friends, whom I have not met for years asked about my marriage process (seems thru his friends friend, he enquired about me...), but I never asked anyone about her education, schooling, college or so...(after speaking to her, i was able to read her mind)
myself and my dad were very clear that, only if all four of their family were interested, we can have a meet, else, nothing wrong we would part as friends,... but his brother and father said, by all means they were wishing...
they asked us to come to their home for a formal visit, we went (though i dont believe in some rituals, i still strongly feel that, we should not take food at their home, till everything is finalized), were made to take lunch at their house, parents were speaking about the community halls, dates and so on... mean while i once again had a chat with her and asked abt her opinion...she said a BIG yes and asked abt me...'Y shld I come all this way to meet you and what still you expect, ofcourse it's an YES'
we returned to home, everybody was expecting for the good to happen....
after four or five days, i received a message(!) from his brother saying that., his father was not interested in this alliance and it cant proceed further...
i was left clueless... yes boys do cry, infact everybody cries, when disappointments come....
couple of close friends, who alone were aware of my alliance process cooled me and these are all usual and asked me to move on....
initally i was interested to know the reason, but later hated to speak to them....
it was only they started the talks and it was only they who ended it... infact, my parents have not even demanded any thing from them...
so this is wat we call as arranged marriage? hate it!
Note: sometimes feel that, the first girl to who I said a no has costed me or haunting me...hope it stops with here-itself...
